Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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