two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
