You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize