Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
