Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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