get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
