Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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