Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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