No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
