Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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