So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
