i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
