Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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