Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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