just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize