I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
