a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
