walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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