please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
