and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize