i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
