I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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