worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
