Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
