so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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