I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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