there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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