he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
