my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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