I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
