3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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