Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
love makes seman taste better
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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