so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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