Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
