I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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