you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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