A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
