Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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