I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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