Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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