i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
