Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
