My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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