This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
