Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
