You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
