I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
