I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We're too hungover to prance.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
