he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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