oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
