Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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