My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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