the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
