i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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