Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
