Will you blow on my dice?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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