How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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