WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize