he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
