I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My pussy is not your playground.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
