You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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