i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
