PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She bit a glass in half.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
