I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
