listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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