Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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