He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Omg I joined a choir last night...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
