If that was your dad, he is hot
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
