Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
