I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
