Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
