We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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