Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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