ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
