Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
