I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
