Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
...so i touched it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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