when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
