Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
